Mulling It Over...

Life has been full of unpleasant surprises for this bunny, as of late. My grandmother, and heroine, passed away little less than 3 months ago. She suffered from a massive stroke, and was in intensive care for about a week. I'm not anywhere close to being over it, and wonder if I ever will be. I'd like Elisabeth Kubler Ross to study me, because I have certainly deviated from her neatly packaged stages of grief. On Death and Dying is simply not relatable, if you ask me.

My job security was threatened in the week that lead up to her death. My bosses' boss wondered why it was that I needed to be at the hospital every day, and felt that I should just return to work and wait for a phone call. Things have since let up on that front, but I still have to interact on a semi-regular basis with a woman whom I feel can only be filled with selfishness and evil. I do not want to work for someone who can only offer me grief during a time when I am already filled with it. She called me one day to tell me that she and her daughter were praying for me, but to be perfectly honest, I think I'd feel better knowing that Max Cady from Cape Fear was doing the praying.

Shortly after my grandmother passed, my grandfather had what was likely a small heart attack, and had a pacemaker put in. He's been in two nursing homes since the surgery, and is making no progress. He's depressed, confused, and suffering from the saddest form of dememtia I have ever seen. He asks me where his wife is fairly regularly now, and it kills me to have to hide the truth from him, but I know that hearing the truth every 20 minutes can only make him feel worse than he already does.

Due to unforseen financial matters, we moved my mom and sister into the house where they found my grandma after her stroke. It was a helluva move, and it's strange to be there in that part of the house without falling apart. I know I should be helping them unpack and decide what stuff gets donated to charity, what stuff goes to a garage sale, and what stuff gets kept, I just can't hide how her death is tearing me apart anymore. I was the strong one for everyone during the time that she lay there dying, and now I have nothing left. Not faith, not hope, not energy, not helpfulness. They all keep telling me that I need to be strong for them, or else they will fall apart, but I've got nothing to offer that will do anyone any good. Two different kinds of anti-depressants, and I cannot do this. Not without needing more sleep than my life allows.

To top all of this off, our family dog that I grew up with, passed on a few weeks ago. I simply do not see "God's Plan" in any of this. Why would He allow all of this to happen, and then take away one of the small and simple comforts we all had to get us through?

Dear Readers, it will be a long while before I find my way back to this forum, so I hope you all understand. As it is, I'll be spending what's left of Sunday in my bed, wishing Monday would stay away. Right now, my own dog is the only thing that keeps me going. I don't know what I would be doing right now if I didn't have him.

Calling All Readers!!

What is your favorite music to listen to when you clean the house? I welcome any and all suggestions. God knows, I need to straighten up in here. Illness has a way of letting housework go undone. Help me get rid of these house-cleaning blues!

Labor Day Edition

It's been a while since my last post, and that is mainly because I have been working my tail off. I've been sick with every little thing that's been going around, and am now fighting off the last of a nasty cough and cold. Enough already!

I did think to post a few things I've found interesting, amusing, or amazing, though. I figure it's the least I can do, since I'm sitting at my desk at work, on Labor Day, manning an office that doesn't really need my presence. I'm not bitter about it. No, not at all. Enjoy!

I've enjoyed Phoenix's album from beginning to end. It's peppy, but not poppy. It's fun, but not frivolous. Great for a gloomy day. Find it here.

Toothpaste for Dinner never fails to make me smile. If laughter is the best medicine, this web comic is better than penicillin.

My hair has really been brittle, dull, and prone to breakage lately. I picked this up at the grocery store when I went yesterday for soup and juice. Today, my hair is shiny, easy to comb through, and actually has body, again. I'm not terribly keen on the smell, but it's worth smelling a bit like fruit salad. Put it on for 3 minutes, complete your other shower activities, and rinse. Awesome? I think so!

I'm reading a very gripping, quirky novel that I can't wait to get home and finish, called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon. It's written from the perspective of a young Brit with high-functioning autism, and his fascination with mysteries. I cannot recommend this book enough.

I've been lucky enough to have 4 Seasons of Boston Legal to keep me company while I've been illin'. If you missed this show while it was on the air, do yourself a favor and just buy the boxed sets. It's hilarious, the closing arguments are both inspiring and entertaining, and the friendship between Alan Shore and Denny Crane is better than any I've seen in real life or in TV Land.

That's all I've got for now, Kiddies. I'm off to make myself some tea, and sit out this day. Then it's jammies and quality time with the dog! Have a happy and safe Labor Day

Michael Jackson Tribute!

At the bottom of my page, you'll find that my music player has been replaced with a mix of some of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. Despite what you may think about his personal and private life, I defy you to find a person that hasn't been affected by his music. I've decided to celebrate his talent by dancing, and reminiscing about my own connections with his music. I'm going to keep it up, and playing for a little while. Consider it my own little vigil for the King of Pop. My heart absolutely goes out to his family.

It's easy to say that his music has always been a part of my life, though hard to pinpoint the exact moment I knew who Michael Jackson was. I absolutely adored the Jackson 5 when I was really little. Their music was happy, and easy to sing along with. I remember putting on concerts in my bedroom for all of my stuffed animals, and singing along to their songs on the radio. As I got a little older, I was very much influenced by my music fanatic cousin, Brian. He was a big fan of the solo stuff. I remember listening to the albums on his portable record player whenever I would go to his house in the summer, and him making me tapes to take home. Dangerous was one of the first CDs I ever bought with my own money. Thriller played on repeat on my first Halloween in my own apartment, and every Halloween since. It's fair to say that my musical tastes have gotten away from pop music, but it's just as fair to say that Michael Jackson plays heavily on the soundtrack to the fondest memories of my life thus far.

Send me your comments if you want to remember him, too!

Beauty Review: Lush "Ocean Salt"

I haven't written a product review in a while, but this is mainly because I haven't had anything to review. When you have a car payment to make, any fun money tends to disappear. It's a sad fact of life. Especially when you're a beauty junkie, like I am. Thank God for birthdays!

My amazing sister went to Santa Monica for her vacation, this year. While she was there, she stopped into the Lush boutique, and picked up a lil something for me. What she presented me with on the aforementioned birthday was a little wonder called Ocean Salt. Allow me to bestow upon you it's many virtues...

This sea salt based exfoliator is meant for both face and body. At first I assumed the salt would be too rough, and drying for my face, so I used it on my feet. It softened them right up, callouses and all. It smells like a margarita, so naturally, I love it. I pulled up the reviews on their website, and decided that it would be okay to try it on my face on Sunday night. If it wasn't for me, no harm done. Imagine my total surprise when a newly formed blemish I noticed when I got up on Sunday, was totally gone on Monday morning! I so friggin' love this stuff.

It is slightly drying, so follow with your normal serums and moisturizers. I wouldn't recommend it for people with sensitive skin, because it might be too harsh, but I know that my combination skin is happy and my complexion glows. I've been getting nothing but compliments since I started using it, and it's only been 3 days.

We don't have a store here, but don't fret if you don't have one in your area, either. The website is not only shoppable, they ship all over the world! You don't get better than that:)

So, I bought the car...

...and I've driven it all weekend. I'm thrilled spitless with the vehicle. I got a great deal, and it's more car than I thought I'd be able to afford.

It's only just sunk in that it's mine. I'm responsible for payments, maintenance, insurance. This is the real thing. I have to put the fear and nerves out of my mind. I can do this.

I'll post more here in the next few days. This is an exciting time. Pics pending.

All Request Saturday!

All right, my dearies, the music player is in need of a few new songs. Send me your requests. I'd love to get my ears on some new tunes, and get to know you all a bit better, through your selections. Channel your inner D.J.

Cars, Used-Up "Punk Bands", and Oklahoma Style Controversy! Oh, My!

So I've finally found a used car that's worth paying on for the next 5 years of my life, and I'm driving an hour out of my way to see it, this afternoon. I truly hope this is the one I wind up with, because the search is entirely too exhausting. First you have to take the mileage into account, both what the odometer reads and what you'll be getting out of a trip to the gas station. Then you have to overlook certain things like sun damage, nicks and dings, and a laundry list of other things, because you are buying a used car, after all. Then you have to decide if you can live with that color, because boy are you stuck with it. I'll tell you what, if I get the car, I'll post some pics.

In the meantime, here are a few little gems for you to enjoy:

This article, from Best Week Ever, made me laugh so hard, I nearly peed. I've often said that I appreciated the American Idiot t-shirts from Green Day's last tour, because it made it easier for me to immediately know who to avoid in a room full of people. Oh, the irony!

The Flaming Lips made local news here in Oklahoma, when "Do You Realize??" was named as the official State Rock Song. The song was voted on by 21,000 Oklahoman's (myself included), and was shrouded in quite a bit of controversy. Bassist Michael Ivins, apparently wore a t-shirt with a hammer and sickle on it to the state capital and a handful of real "stick in the mud" politicians caused a big stink over it, and tried to overturn the vote. Thank God Governor Brad Henry stepped in and put an end to the nonsense. You can read the article here, but I encourage you to watch the video and listen to the lyrics, as well. I can accept the fact that these guys aren't for everyone, they are wild and weird, which is a huge part of why I like them so much, but seriously...If these old coots had bothered to listen to what the song was about, I doubt they'd have wasted their precious alloted time being offended by someone's clothing.

Speaking of precious allotted time, I've got to get myself in the shower so I can meet a friend for lunch. Enjoy your long weekend, everyone! Get out and enjoy it:)

Happy February, Kiddos!

So, I had a concussion on Thursday. Before you fret, I'm fine now. It's actually a funny story....

I was on my way into the Ladies Room at work and headed into the stall, when the door came off the hinge and knocked me on the forehead. I remember saying "ouch", and looking in the mirror and seeing a huge indention, then at some point sitting in my bosses office saying "I'm pretty dizzy, and I kinda want to take a nap." Then we were in the car on our way to the urgent care center.

I ended up staying home until today recovering, so I guess it was at least somewhat serious. I was joking with a co-worker today, saying that it made me forget math, but those of you that know me know that I don't just keep that calculator in my purse for looks!

My advice to you, look before you pee, and I don't just mean the seat.

Ice Storm!

My city is covered in at least an inch of ice, then about a half inch of sleet, and about another inch of snow. There are at least 600 people without power, and all the local schools are closed. The Governor has issued a state of emergency, as well. Guess who still has to get to work, somehow? That's right, Dear Readers. Me. Wish me luck. I just broke my ice scraper, so getting in safely will be quite the ordeal. Oh, to be a kid again, and be able to go back to bed and watch cartoons all day.

*this image is taken from the ice storm we had last year, so if this gives you any idea what we've already been through, then maybe you can send us happy thoughts as we dig our cars out from underneath all this.

Well, Kiddies...

...it's been a while since I've updated, and I know that's practically a sin in the blogging world, but things have just been so insanely crazy with my life that there's been no time. First of all, I started a new job, which at this point is old. It's not the most perfect job, but it's paying my bills. I'm still looking for a car, which is tiresome, but when you're looking for used, you either have to be extremely picky, or settle for less than what you really want. I've been looking into getting back into school, which I think will land me closer to all my life's dreams and goals, and I've also been playing catch up with some of my favorite musicians and television series.

First, I want to let all you ladies know that Salt Butter is back at select Origins stores! I love this stuff. It smells like those awesome butter mints, and makes your skin so soft. I'd had a cold about 3 weeks ago, and it offered my overworked sinuses much relief. It's also great for the winter itchies, which seem to be plaguing me something terrible in this cold weather.

Secondly, and I know I'm late in jumping on the bandwagon, but I've been watching the heck out of some Bones. Target had some really awesome sales on DVDs around the holidays and I just went stock-up nuts on tv. It's smart, it's quirky, it's hilarious, it's got the gross out factor. It's everything I love about television. Plus, David Boreanaz? You have to love that!

Third, I've been wearing a groove in the new Kaiser Chief's album, Off With Their Heads, and it's making me so happy, that I just can't help but dance a little when it's on. If you're a fan and you don't have this album, yet, allow me to chastise you a little. There's truly no excuse. Other notables are Oasis, Dig Out Your Soul, and The Cure, 4:13 Dream. The latter was meant to be a double album, and despite not being totally on board with the album as a whole, there are enough tracks that make it worth owning.